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Title: Get OUT!
Story:   I was dating this girl for awhile we were both 17. She still lived at home with her mom in a trailer (hey she was hot ok). She finaly asked me to come over and stay the night. I knew that I was going to get some action so I drove over and entered through my special door… her bedroom window. We ended up having sex and drinking lots of alchol. Anyway, she forgot to lock her bedroom door and in the morning her mom came walking in. I was sleeping spread eagle on the bed completely naked. Her mom started screaming. So I quickly threw the blanket over my junk. Her mom kept screaming at me to get the f--- out of her house and I kept telling her to get out of the f--- out of the room so I could get dressed. She ended up leaving the room and I quickly got dressed and did a superman out the window. Geeez all that because I shaged her vigin daughter  
   
Title: Hi, like my dog?
Story:   I was training my German Shepard down at the park and met a girl with a little ankle biter dog. She came up to me and told me what an obedient dog I had. I thought to myself this is the perfect time to hit on this girl. She told me her dog wont listen to a word she says so I started to give her some tips and was planning on telling her that I would help train him personally…. for some sex, kidding, well not really. But anyway I yelled at my dog to come and he did and sat right to the side of me. Boy was she impressed I was really winning this girl over. Then her little dog came up to see my dog. It walked up and gave my dog a little bark … then my dog grabbed that little dog around its neck and started swinging it around like a rag doll. I yelled at my dog and he let the little rat go. She started screaming at me that my dog and I should be locked up. I was soooo close.  
   
Title: You Beooch
Story:   I was at this bar that had a live band and dancing. These two hot drunk girls came up to me and my friends and were trying to get us to dance. We don't dance so we all just kept saying that the other one of us wanted to dance. Anyway my buddies kept saying that I wanted to dance with them. I said no but realized that I would be a moron to turn down two hot girls so I said what the hell. I started dancing with one of them and it was fun. You could tell my friends were jealous. We started dancing toward the band where she did a spin and switched places with her gay friend. I now had a gay man in my hands. I quickly jerked away and she was laughing. Real funny you bitch!  
   
Title: Mmmm Hand
Story:   I went out with this girl and I thought she really liked me. It was our first date and I spent over a hundred bucks on dinner. So being the gentlemen that I am I brought her home and walked her to her doorstep. I was really happy and felt like we had a classic date. So when we got to her door I made my move. I closed my eyes and went in for the goodnight kiss. I pressed my lips against hers and thought to myself these are hard flat lips. I opened my eyes and realized I was kissing her hand which she had raised to block my advance. That was our last date.  
   
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