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Relationship Gone Wrong	I am 25 and she is 35. She is recently out of a bitter divorce and has 2 kids. I don't have any. We met about 2 1/2 months ago at a piano bar. We ended up talking, dancing, and kissing all evening. I gave her my number and she called me a couple days later. The next time we met up, we ended up having sex. She had a few drinks in her as did I, and I think she regretted the whole thing after. I could tell by the way she was acting that she had another man in her life. As it turned out, she had been unsure of this other guy because he was playing games with her. He ended up just using her for sex and stopped calling her. When we started getting to know each other, I could tell that she was still a little hurt by what the last guy did to her. I understood that she wanted to get to know me more on a personal level before we had sex. Since I really liked this woman, I waited. We have been seeing quite a bit of each other in the last 3 weeks. I have met her children, and have spent a lot of time with them. I know her son absolutely adores me. I adore her and her children. I have also met her parents. Things were going good, no sex obviously, but like I said that was okay because I liked the woman. Last weekend, I took her to my company's christmas party, bought her a beautiful dress to wear, and we stayed in a hotel. I felt that she was finally opening up to me that evening, and we ended up having sex. She even told me she loved me while we were lying in bed together. I was in heaven. I feel like I love her too. Everything seemed great the next couple of days. But last evening I could tell something was wrong. The kids were gone, it was just us. I made her dinner and gave her a back rub becase she was stressed. I then tried to have an intimate moment with her and the mood changed. She said that she has many things on her mind and was confused. She has other guys calling her, but I know I am the only one she sees, at least thats what she says. She just says that she isn't ready to have an intimate relationship yet, and we should wait. So why did she sleep with me last weekend? Why did she say she loved me? I care about her enough to be patient with her. But I don't know if she is sleeping with somebody else. I know we are not together, but she says I am more than a friend to her. She also said that she didn't want me out kissing some girl, and then coming over and kissing her. I have never had problems attracting the opposite sex, I have women that call me as well. I am not interested in any of them though. She is what I want. But I can't keep doing this without being intimate with her. I told her that if she cares for me, she will tell me if there is another man she is interested in. She says there is not, and still wants to see me. I just want to make sure that she isn't telling me no, and some other guy yes. What should I do? I want her so bad, but she keeps pulling me in, then pushing me away. HELP!!!	The problem is that you have given her all the power in the relationship. Because she has this power she knows she can hold out and wait for someone better, all while keeping her security blanket, you! This does not mean you don't have a chance with this woman, you definitely do, but you must stop giving her all the power. You need to be more of a man with her. If you keep on the same road, you're going to end up ditched soon. Your best bet is to start withdrawing yourself from her. Try not to be so needy, it's not an attractive quality. Make yourself scarcer. What happens in life when something becomes scarce? The value goes up and more people want it. The result here is that she is forced to make a decision. Due to your withdraw, she is feeling that you have other opportunities and that you are in demand. This dramatically increases your attraction. With her attraction amplified and her inability to drag you along, she will be more likely to come around. Just remember, if she starts to falter again you must repeat the process but with more intensity. If it continues on, so should you! Just remember it's your reality, and never accept second class behavior from anyone.
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Oh ya the "little things"	I've been with my fiance for over a year and earlier this month she moved out saying she needed some space and really needed to take a break. She said she needed to do this because she resented me and felt like she was always taking care of me and I didn't appreciate everything she did. I told her everyday that I appreciated everything she did for me/us and how wonderful I thought she was, but because I didn't always show her with little tokens, her response was always "I hear what you're saying but your actions don't show it". Upon her departure she told me that she considers us still dating and that she doesn't want us to see other people until we decide our future. We've seen each other a couple of times since and she calls me everyday, tells me that she is still my girlfriend, but tells me she is skeptical that I can save the relationship. She is not sure she wants to waste any more time, since she has already wasted the last year, and that she should've ended our relationship after just a couple of weeks. Which is confusting since after those couple of weeks we became engaged, and bought a house together, so it couldn't have been that big a waste of time. She tells me that she is not sure which way she is leaning toward our relationship, and in fact she has told me that she isn't leaning one way or the other, and understands it a hard time for me now, but to hang in there and understand that she needs to do this so she can become a better person, we can become a better couple, and that after all this we will be a stronger couple which will be able to spend the rest of our lives together. That with this break we have a chance of saving the relationship (not a good chance or a bad chance but just a chance), but without it there was no way it would've been saved. So should I believe her in that she wants to save the relationship, hang in there and see where this goes even though she is talking from both sides?	Sounds like you're in a bit of a bind here. First of all you need to decide what you want. It's clear that she needs more than what you have been giving her. I have written a lot about the "little things." First of all what you did wrong, is that you didn't make her feel special enoug, and every "worthwhile" girl needs to feel special. This does not mean buying her love or spoiling her, it means randomly and sporadically showing her you care through your actions. This could be anything from, a flower(s) for no reason to a simple phone call telling her that you were thinking about her. There are so many examples of the "little things," that I'm sure there is a book or two out there. Now back to your problem, and what you want. Do you love her enough to change a bit? Are you willing to go the extra mile to keep her in your life? Let me be the first to tell you that if you don't want to do the little things for her, and you love her, chances are you wont for anybody else. It's going to feel awkward doing the "little things" now because you have lost your element of surprise. But, it's a must and you should start sooner than later. Whatever you do, don't overdue it! Just a few little things to make her feel special. Give her a call when you know she's relaxing and tell her that you were just laughing about a funny memory you guys shared together. Alternatively, if she still is distancing herself from you after you are making valid strides at improving your relationship. Be the first one to say, "You know babe, I don't think you are really appreciating me and what I'm trying to do here. I think that you are right in that we need to take a break to find ourselves. I think we should start seeing other people to find out if we are really meant to be." Now your initial reaction is probably, "No way, then I will lose her for good." Think about how you would feel if she said that to you! It says all the right things, such as; I am a strong independent man; I don't need you; I know I can find someone else. These are very attractive qualities. Keep us informed on your outcome and good luck.
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Girls playing "Mind Games" No Way!	I have been talking with this girl for about a month now, and she has been playing mind games with me, like she says would like to go out but when it comes down to it she says she got something else to do. Also if she sees me with another girl who is just a friend she gets really mad and bites my head off, but she thinks it is ok for herself to mention nonstop guys and expect me not to say how it bothers me. I dont know what she wants anymore, it seemed like she wanted to go out with me before but now I am not so sure if it is that or if she is just playing mind games. What should I do?	First of all do not let her know that her talking about other guys bothers you. Number two; act like you could care less that she is. She is testing you to see if you will react when she talks about other guys. It's a common testing technique women do, they want to see if you can handle them emotionally without freaking out. Three, tell her that you ARE dating and that you are not going to wait for her if she's not going to play ball. I'm doing an upcoming interview on this with a female so you guys can see how much these actions really mean to women. It's your reality, your life, she can join it or move on. If she sees this reality in you, her attraction for you will grow immensely. If you don't feel like you can step up and do this then try this alternative. Don't ask her on a date, ask her to hang out. Say, "Hey I'm going down to the mall to pick up a couple outfits, I could use a second opinion, you should come." Keep it casual, she maybe scared of the whole "date" idea and all it implies. Which is, I'm going to buy you something for your time (dinner) so you will spend time with me and this will lead to romance. She may not be ready for this implication. Good luck and let us know what happens.
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You are not good enough. But you can be!	I met a girl on a personals site a couple of weeks ago and we started dating. We've been out several times already. We have a lot in common and have fun together. I treat her like a princess and she seems to really love it. The other night she took me out to celebrate passing a big exam and we decided to go to a club where we proceeded to get pretty tipsy. We eventually made it home and started talking. I told her that I really liked her and was interested in moving forward with a relationship but that I could also see that she was still heart-broken over her past relationship. Basically, we totally expressed all our feelings. She was upset that after I expressed my feelings, she thought I was going to give up on getting to know her better & also that she thought I was telling her that she was wasting my time. Neither were true. My problem is that while she admits that she is not ready for a relationship, she is still looking for people on the dating website. I feel like I'm not good enough. I don't know why if she's not ready for a relationship, she is still looking for guys. I don't know, am I'm going to be wasting my time by waiting around? Am I just a tool she is using to boost her self esteem after being dumped by her ex 2 1/2 months ago? How can I play it cool so she won't know how much this bothers me?	You have come to the right place, this is a VERY classic case. You are definitely not playing your cards right. Number one, you started out on the wrong foot and you need to change step immediately. You are not presenting her any challenge and she knows this. Girls want a man not a "yes man" or yes mam. She knows she has you and that you are not going anywhere. You made the mistake of laying your cards down first. Statistics show he who lays his cards first loses. You have already done a lot of damage but you can still recover. There is one word that you need to understand and implement, its called "indifference." You have to show her that you are a strong independent man and you could take her or leave her. You need to make yourself a challenge for her. Stop treating her like a princess. Be respectful and chivalrous but do not spoil her. If its starts getting really bad and you feel her slipping away you BETTER be the first one to say I think we should just be friends. This give you the upper hand and now she needs your approval rather then the constant approval you have been giving her. You have to think outside the box. Think of this, you know she is still looking for other guys on the web... and that makes you want her more, doesn't it. Girls think the same way, try turning the table. If I were you I would get the ball back in my court as fast as I possibly could. Tell her this, "Look I know you need time to recover from you past relationship. I shouldn't have tried to push a new one on you. To tell you the truth I think we should take a step back, I have a (project, goal, etc.) that I really need to focus on and I don't have the time to commit to a relationship right now. We should still hang out because you are a great girl... and who knows what will happen down the road, but let's keep things simple for now." This is your best bet in repairing the damage you have done already. What ever way you choose to go let us know the outcome. Hope this aids you in your journey, good luck.
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Hello! Mcfly!	I wont lie, I'm not the prettiest guy to look at. I was having a great relationship with a girl online. We talked for about 4 hours a day and had everything in common. Anyway, we finally posted our pictures and I haven't heard back from her and she wont answer my emails. It's been over a week. Should I keep trying to contact her?	No! Chances are she saw your picture and didn't find you attractive. If your going to keep trying to get girls online, have your picture posted before you start talking to the girl. That way there will be no surprises down the road. If I were you I would try meeting girls in the real world, that's what this site is about. For all you know that girl you were talking to was a 600 pound man whore. Post a good picture of youself, post it on HotorNot.com first to see what girls think of the photo.
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Hi! I'm full of shit	I met this girl and she likes me, I think, anyway I told her a bunch of lies about myself and I don't know how to get out of them now. The main lies that I told were that I live in Denver and drive a Lexus. The truth is I live with my mom and drive a VW bug. Any ideas?	In the future try this one, DON'T LIE! Impress girls with who you are not what you own. If you don't understand how to do this than read the site. Your best bet now is to fess up and tell her that you were just trying to impress her. Tell her that you have been doing some reading and that you now understand that girls are not as superficial as you thought
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Broad Question	here is the best place to meet girls in the city?	Too broad here, what do you like to do? The best way for myself is at bars with low noise so you can converse. Places with tables so you approach and sit with different groups of women.
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May I help you? Girl	I met this girl who works at circuit city. She was helping me find a game, and she seemed to be interested in me. I want to go back and talk to her but dont want to be stalker like. What would you suggest I say to her when I go back?	The best thing to do is to go back on the same day you met her. Chances are she will be working. Then ask her for some help, but pick a product that you can ask a lot of questions about so you have more time to win her over. Pick a product that makes you seem sophisticated and wealthy, such as a laptop, PDA, or some expensive software. Good luck
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Us.. Experts???	What makes you guys such experts on getting women?	We have a very diverse staff of guys and girls running this site. Most all of us have a girlfriend and have dated a great number of women. We all know what works and what doesn't through personal experiences. We also know hundreds of women some of which you will see in our video interviews. We have interviewed over a hundred women about how to get into their heart or their pants if that's what your after. We are not the kind of people that read a bunch of girly books on dating techniques and pass that crap on to our readers. We use real tried and proven techniques acquired from personal experience and straight from the woman's mouth.
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Something to Prove	ok i love this girl and she loves me but she wont trust me because all her other boyfriends told her lies about everything. anyway's i really do love her and she mean the world to me i mean god id die for her and im posting that on the internet. i feel warm when im with her and thats all that matters so i need help convincing her that i really do love her and want to be with her but im only 17 so help the young one plz	Sounds like you have a lot to prove to her. If the rummors are lies then you need to prove that they are just that, or discreated the people who made them. If you can't do any of this then you have to be on your best behavior. You have to earn trust and unfortuantly that takes time. So any little thing you tell her your going to do, such as meeting her, calling her, or even a small favor, you need to get it done. But don't just get it done, suprise her along the way. If you love her and really know who she is, then you should be able to figure this out on your own. Put don't ever be a "yesman," be confident in what you do, don't act like a timid wus.
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DBS	What's DBS? [ This is in reference to Katlin's video interview when she mentions "DBS"]	We had to laugh when you asked this question becuase it stands for "Dumb Boy Syndrom."; But we understand that she doesnt say it too loud in the interview.
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Married but Looking	I am being approached by a very beautiful married woman. Yikes !! She comes to my work to say hi and also calls me. If she was not married, I would love to spend time with her, However, Since she is unhappily married and deciding what she should do, I am just talking to her when she calls or visits but keeping things as friends. I guess this is not a question, But a comment. Feel free to talk about it.	Definitely something to keep on the friend level. Getting involved with a married woman is not only a moral dilemma but a possible physical challenge. Love causes people to do crazy things as we all know. If you get too close you may have to deal with her husband. Nevertheless, if it's an unhappy marriage and you feel a strong connections with this female, it's worth keeping the lines of communication open. Even talking about the issues of her unhappy marriage is not a moral wrong. Just don't ever act on it until her marriage is completely over. One major reason for this is having her stay faithful, that is unless you don't want her to be faithful in her future relationship with you. So it looks like your doing just fine. Good luck!
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Your Site	I'm just curious as to why you built this site? Are you here out of the kindness of your heart? I guess I'm somewhat confused. This is probably years and years of being jaded, but do you have an ulterior motive (Like starting up a dating business or write a book)? I just can't fathom somebody putting all this work and effort together just to help people get dates. I mean, I'm a social worker so I know all about the art of assistance, but if this is on the up-and-up and you're not in it to make a fast buck? Well then, you all should feel really good about yourselves. And not in some touchy-feely Hallmark moment. You should just feel good. Anyway's, e-mail me, cause I'd love to hear more about how you guys all got this started.	This was an idea my brother and I had. We have always helped our friends with there relationship problems. It's a subject were both good at and have a lot of friends, both guys and girls, that jumped at the opportunity. It started as just an idea and grew fast. I, Nick, am an IT major from C.U Boulder and have a passion for design and web building. My brother Quin loves to date and is very opinionated so he enjoys writing. Believe it or not but all the girls helping us and appearing in our video interviews do it for nothing more than to help the male population, maybe in frustration of their own single status. There really is no ulterior motive, we only make money from people clicking our ad's. This helps us cover our hosting costs. So to sum it up we all enjoy doing it and get a lot of personal satisfaction from the experience.
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